They fuck you up, your dominant gender-based power systems

As someone who’s quite into feminist writings and that whole perspective, I really enjoyed reading the following article about alternatives to ‘mainstream’ masculinity. The article talks about ‘feminist masculinity’, an attempt at rethinking masculinity along more egalitarian lines. I don’t think men realise or properly comprehend that while patriarchal systems put men in a dominant position, this damages men as well as subjugating women. Fact is the patriarchal systems fucks up humanity as a whole.

A key in understanding how to break from patriarchal dominance is recognising inherent and unseen male privilege (privilege is something I intend to write about at length at some point) in everyday situations, that we inherently are given advantages over women by our society and our culture. That these advantages are so ingrained that we regard them as normal, and not as a privileged position. And that any attempt to level the playing field is not necessarily a threat to masculinity and men and a way of ‘bringing men down’, but is an attempt to redress the balance of power that has existed for hundreds, maybe thousands, of years in this country.

Recognising this and accepting that this position is not healthy for men is important, but probably more important is for men to stand up and also say that traditional ideas of masculinity (Tough, macho, physical, the bread winner, powerful etc etc) are a load of balls.

The problem is what are the alternatives to traditional masculine modes of identity? The article mentioned above asks this question. Where is a role model for a new masculinity? What should it look like?

I don’t think I fit into the traditional box of male stereotypes. I’d class myself as a feminist, I read a lot, have a passion for female singer-songwriters. I cook. I clean. I’m straight and have quite a few female friends that I don’t want to have sex with.

But. I also love sport, and have a season ticket for my local football club. I really like boxing and the huge tackles that go in at rugby matches. Even though I’m a pacifist. But then I’ve also studied sport academically, can identify and understand it as a masculine space.

I suppose this throws up my contrary nature more than any great insight into what a role model should be. Or perhaps it shows that a new masculinity shouldn’t be a model of behaviours. It should be a mishmash of the disparate likes, interests and characteristics that men (and women) have. Underpinned by an egalitarian belief in gender equality and respect.